Nobody gets married planning on getting divorced. You don’t dream of being miserable and ending up separated. Yet the truth of the matter is that about half of all marriages end up that way. It sucks, but sometimes the truth hurts. So what are you going to do to make your marriage different? How are you going to prevent yourselves from becoming just another statistic? The reality is that most people spend more time preparing for a job than they do for marriage. Preparing for marriage takes some effort, but we’d like to offer you a great place to start. After all, 50% of all marriages are successful and there’s no reason you can’t be one of those!
Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married is one of our go-to books chalk full of marital advice. It’s written by marriage counselor, Gary Chapman, who is in a long-term marriage himself – but not without its problems. The book is laid out into 12 short and sweet chapters where he details, as the title says, things he wishes he had known before he got married. Each chapter outlines a different issue many (probably most) couples experience in the early years of their marriage. Each issue is then tied back to conflicts in Gary’s own marriage, and to the clients he works with. Our favorite part comes at the end of each chapter where Gary provides a list of activities and questions to review with your significant other. We find the questions to be super practical and insightful. I’m not going to lie, sometimes the questions are uncomfortably deep, but it’s usually those questions that need discussed the most.
Here’s a look at some of the topics Gary discusses in the book and wishes he would have known before he took the leap into marriage
-That being in love is not an adequate foundation for building a successful marriage
-That romantic love has 2 stages
-That the saying “Like mother, like daughter” and “Like father, like son” is not a myth
-That apologizing is a sign of strength
-That forgiveness is not a feeling
-That toilets are not self-cleaning (who knew!?!)
It’s a quick read, but a super worth while one. We’re still finding the topics and questions helpful nearly six years into our marriage. We highly recommend taking the time out to read and discuss through this one. It might even be fun to break the chapters up into a series of date nights to sit down and discuss the topics and questions together.
What you may or may not know about Devin and I, is that we LOVE working with couples before they make the leap into marriage. We want to make sure that you don’t end up another statistic just as badly as you do, so we offer pre-marital coaching to any interested couple. It’s a great opportunity for us to get to know one another better, but even more importantly, it offers a great foundation for your upcoming marriage. If you think you might be interested in working with us, we’d love to chat details. Feel free to contact us about getting started. We look forward to working with you and making your marriage great!